Sunday, May 15, 2011

Eurovision 2011: Jedward were robbed!

Okay, maybe not really... but having spent the week leading up to Eurovision in Ireland, and watching the contest in a bar on our last night there, it was easy to feel that way! Starting on Wednesday or so, Irish radio was really hyping Jedward and played their song often - it's definitely Song of the Trip. Everyone was excited about the possibility of winning and having some good news in Ireland for a change (the recession is especially awful there), petty though it might be - although there was some talk of all the money bookmakers would lose if Jedward won, as their earlier odds to win were very low. I guess the bookies came out okay since Jedward didn't win.

In bold are my live impressions from the show, written last night at the bar and unedited. In parentheses are my post-contest thoughts!

1. Finland. Really? (This song just wasn't very Eurovision-y. I'm surprised it made the final.)
2. Bosnia & Herzegovina. Classic Eurovision. (A bit folksy and poppy at the same time. I kind of liked this one.)
3. Denmark. New Kids on the Block Christmas album. (It did well, too. WTF.)
4. Lithuania. Disney soundtrack. (Can't remember a thing about it now, other than the soaring Disney feel-good thing.)
5. Hungary. This is a good dance tu....WHAT IS ON HER HAND. (Didn't do well at all, sadly. People were in a syrupy mood this year I guess.)

6. Ireland. I have no words. (It was impressive to see their goofy stage show after hearing the song all week. They did seem a little nervous. The group of continentals sitting next to us in the bar did a massive sing-along - this song was everywhere in the runup to the show.)

7. Sweden. The requisite Eurovision box prop - trope inverted! (Well, sort of. They upped the "I'm in a box" trope by having it shatter mid-song. This did really well despite horrid, horrid lyrics about how he wants her and he's going to get popular so he can get her. WHAT SWEDEN. You all have amazing English so you must realize how awful these lyrics are. Really, really awful.)

8. Estonia. This girl is reaching Rachel Berry levels on the Ham-o-meter. (I thought the song was cute enough, though. The hamminess was detracting from it, though.)
9. Greece. Chamber rap?
10. Russia. This year's smarm-bringer. (We were cracking up. Blech.)
11. France. Backdrop looks like those horrible cheap three-ring binders with bad computer-generated art on them. (Irish papers said this was the heavily favored entry. I guess that shows how well you can predict Eurovision.)
12. Italy. Also taking the class route. (Way to keep it classy, Italy...but I don't watch for the class!)
13. Switzerland. Awwww. Gets the 5-year-old vote. (I think they cane in last.)
14. United Kingdom. Getting out the narcissist vote? Always embarrassing themselves. (Really, I've never seen a tolerable UK entry. And these guys had giant photos of themselves in the background. Sad.)
15. Moldova. Wow. (Yup.)

16. Germany. Silver Sprockets. (This is too sophisticated for Eurovision.)

17. Romania. I think this is the third-song with a sappy world-change message. (Gag.)
18. Austria. Yawn.
19. Azerbaijan. Two boring ones in a row. :(
(And then this WON!? I cannot get into the head of Eurovision voters. This is supposed to be fun. I can't remember a thing about it.)

20. Slovenia. How did all the boring ones end up together?
21. Iceland. Boring but in a pleasant way.
(I actually liked this one somewhat, but it's not good Eurovision material.)
22. Spain. More NKOTB moves. I'm getting burned out. (I think they should cut the final down to 20.)
23. Ukraine. What music? The drawing is fascinating. Winner? (No, they came in fourth. Still, this makes me wonder about the boundaries of what you can do on stage because I thought the music was definitely secondary to the artist, whose performance was neither song nor dance.)

24. Serbia. Visually cute, but song not interesting.
25. Georgia. Woooo almost vote time....
(I was definitely burned out by this point.)

Azerbaijan's win is kind of exciting since they will host next year and that should be pretty interesting...but I wish they'd won with a more interesting song. The last thing Eurovision needs is more uninspired ballads. I want goofy shit!!

Bis Eurovision 2012!


  1. I was totally crossing my fingers for Ireland and totally surprised that they didn't get more points. And the Azerbaijan song was so forgettable, I couldn't even remember what it was when it came time for voting. Can't believe they won, and neither could any of the Germans I was watching it with either!

  2. - the hungarian is actually celine dion in disguise, and on her hand she is wearing a bright blue peanut butter cup. or cupcake. also, whats up glowy pants dudes?!
    - ireland: AWESOME. also, how fun to KNOW the song before the performance?!
    - ...hahaha... I DONT WATCH FOR CLASS
    - wait, is that the same german girl from last year?
    - awww the azerbaijan video is gone :/
    - ooh i heart the sand drawing

  3. Okay, I fixed Azerbaijan. (Even though they were lame.)

    All the songs are released before the contest if you want to learn them all, but I usually just listen to the German one so I don't spoil the rest. :D

  4. Thanks for the recap. It sucked being in the US for Eurovision this year! Watching it after the fact is so unappealing, but it was fun to watch a couple of the highlight acts. Elf hats all the way.


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