Can't we move to Canada???? Our kids will never know their grandparents if we stay over here!!!
I'm also worried that our kids won't know their grandparents. That's really been my main concern all along about staying here, and it really weighs on me. (That and us not being close to our parents--they were such a part of our lives for so many years. It sucks to be so far away and so estranged from them.) I have nothing personal really against Canada, but the problem as I see it is a lack of money for science. Unfortunately, I'm sort of a slave to the system if I stay in academic science, which sort of limits our options on where to live, and the US and Germany are much better bets for funding for basic science research.I've never really made a good argument on this blog as to why the quality of life in Germany may be better than in the US. Partly I haven't gotten around to it. Partly I'm worried that it would turn too political for my taste and I don't know how to get around that. This isn't a political blog and I don't want it to be. I consider myself an independent.
I'll keep my eyes open for job postings. However, in the short term, it might be better to get a position and establish myself here while there's still money (before the recession really hits). I'm sort of up in the air about this, actually, since it could mean a big move with a family. I don't know, really, what to do.
Yeah, for some reason I only remember and flip out about it when something bad happens.
Dammit, I wish we could have been born somewhere cool so we wouldn't have to deal with this.* I don't want to go back to the US or even really Canada although that would be better. They're all new, and ugly, and spread out. FUCKING HELL!!! But at least Canada gets health care and vacation I guess. :/
Yeah, I know what you mean. I imagine it's worse for you since you grew up next door to your grandparents. Anyways, if people really meant what they said when they elected Obama, then maybe the US will get better soon (livability-wise, there's really nothing you can do about it being ugly and spread out)? Then, one option is to wait it out here until things improve. It sounds like the coward's way out (why not go back and fight to make it a better place), but the truth is that I'm more concerned about my family's comfort and security than making a stand. And to be honest, are WE more important to our children than our parents? We would really have more time for them here--I don't know about Canada, but maybe it's the case there, too. I'm concerned about us spending more time with our parents, but I don't think our kids will really miss it if that's what they're used to.
The US has so much else to worry about and any steps to improve the quality of life could be likened to socialism, so I don't know if things are going to improve, even if people were gung-ho about Obama. While we wait here for the US to become a place that might be a better environment for our kids, our parents are getting older fast. And even if they don't know what they're missing by not really knowing our parents, I know what they are missing, and since our parents are generally awesome, they are missing a lot. :( It would not be easy to get past it. It's not easy to get past the downsides of life in the US either. Freaking hell. I wish I truly believed the US was objectively a better place to live.
I've never believed that distance made the heart grow fonder. Time spent apart from friends actually seems to just make things worse. You start to have less to share with each other, and you realize you don't really need them as much as you thought you did before. You still love them, but it isn't the same as when you're around them every day. Sometimes, the more difficult things about your relationship with them become all the more clear when you're not constantly reminded of their positive aspects by seeing them all the time.
Such has been my relationship with the United States. I love it, I miss it. Some of the positive things about it have become more clear since I moved to Germany. But more so have some of the negatives. I feel the quality of life in Germany is simply better. The draw of my family, especially when I think about my potential future children, and the draw of my native language are very strong. But they are balanced exactly by the improvements in the quality of life here - better and simpler health coverage, more vacation time, less sprawl and more transportation options, slower pace of life and better work/life balance.
I don't know what to think or do, although the doing part is actually not all that much under our control. On most days, being away from my family is a bummer constantly buzzing in the background, though I can remind myself I didn't see them that much when I lived in Boston, either. But at a time like this, being away from my family is utter misery, just unbearable. And when I think about my relationship with my grandparents, and how much I love my parents and my sisters, I don't know what the hell we could possibly be thinking staying over here!! It's completely insane to deprive ourselves and our children of time with our parents and our siblings!
Then I remember - two weeks' vacation, difficulty making ends meet after retirement or feeling one can never retire, insane insurance system that may cover less or may cover more than here depending on the sheer luck of where we work, consumerism ratcheted up about 50 notches, living in a suburb and commuting 3 hours to work in our two different cars.... please, I invite you to convince me that the quality of life in the United States is objectively better! I wish I believed it was. I really want to want to go back. Maybe someone who has been here and moved back can tell me that they felt the same way, and when they got back to the US it wasn't really as bad as they were imagining?
Sometimes I wish we'd never have come here so I wouldn't have truly known what I was missing. Now, will any place feel like the right choice?
*Yeah, I realize I sound like an idiot here. I would still appreciate if people would refrain from kicking me while I'm down, but since this is the internet, I am not counting on that.