Last night we had a little incident with something a bit less beautiful, though. Well, at least, in the context in which we met it.
I got up to use the toilet around 2am, cell-phone-as-flashlight in hand. When I came back to bed, by the light of the phone and without my glasses, I saw a big fuzzy dark spot in the corner, a mere foot or so from my pillow. (One of the most sacred spots in the house, of course, is one's pillow!) I was confused. I don't remember the wallpaper there being peeled away. Maybe it's a dust bunny. Jeez, that's an awfully dark dust bunny, though. Could it be a spider? Man, I don't think so. It's just too big. We get lots of spiders here, but they're the run-of-the-mill small-bodied long-legged guys.
Curiosity got the best of me and I grabbed my glasses, which were sitting on the floor mere inches from the large mysterious fuzzy dark blob, and put them on. I shone the cell phone in the direction of the blob.
Holy mother of Edison. It was the biggest freaking spider I have ever seen indoors. It was HUGE.
I used my amazing mystical creepy-crawlie-fleeing abilities to vacate the bedroom in less than 0.2 seconds, leaving Damon behind to just keep repeating, "What is it? What is it?"
I know Damon hates spiders. "Don't look! Don't look!" I was already thinking about sleeping on the couch. "IT'S NOT A NORMAL SPIDER!!!"
He slowly put on his glasses and crawled over and saw it. He recognized it right away because he saw one a few weeks ago in the bike room. And these guys came up at work too. His coworker apparently has a lot of them. And found one on his pillow one day. NOO!! The sacred pillow!!
We should have had the clarity of mind to photograph it so we could find out more about it, but at that hour of the day it was purely an automatic reaction. Ridiculously large spider in bedroom: DESTROY. So, there is no photo and Damon promptly got rid of it with the broom. Then I couldn't sleep very well because it was hot but I didn't want to come out from under the covers. 'Cause you know, spiders can't come get you under the covers. Then in the morning I thought a dust bunny was another one. All day, I've been walking around with one eye checking the corners of the room. I like those little normal spiders even more now. If they're occupying a corner, that means one of the big mofos isn't!!
I actually don't really mind spiders if they're the normal kind, but this was not the normal kind. And I find them downright cool if they're outside, building nice webs in the trees. But in a dark corner of the bedroom, next to your pillow, at 2am, by the bluish light of the cell phone display? NOT OK.